My winter tour

I left my house before Thanksgiving, and just got back home on Sunday. It was a wild ride full of ups and downs...

November 29 - Chicago - Hamburger Mary's
I love playing here, and this was my fifth show at Mary's Attic, the adorable cabaret venue above Hamburger Mary's. I was afraid that on the Holiday weekend (the Saturday after Thanksgiving) I wouldn't be able to draw a crowd. But we ended up packing the place. Dan Telfer, a brilliant Chicago comedian, founder of Chicago Underground Comedy (CHUC), hosted the show. And my favorite lady in Chi-town, Miss Cameron Esposito opened. So much fun. I made a few other comedy stops in Chicago, performing at CHUC, Bryan Babylon's show on Vocolo radio (broadcast from the Chicago Public Radio studios), and the most fun, laid-back, freewheeling comedy show in Chicago, "Entertaining Julia," hosted by the one and only Puterbaugh Sisters.

December 2 - Heathrow Airport - DEPORTED!
Things took a turn for the depressing when I was detained and deported from the UK. I played the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in the UK in August, playing a show everyday for a month. No permit was required, so went I traveled to the UK to visit a boy and booked three little shows over a period of two weeks, I didn't think I needed a permit. I was wrong. Dead wrong. When the surly UK border agent started grilling me about my intention to play shows, I realized it was not cool. But it was too late at this point to effectively lie. I got the boy on the phone to plead my case, but they were not sympathetic. They gave me a 48-hour pass, so I did get to see the boy briefly, before they deported me back to NYC. I had sublet my apartment, so I found myself in the situation of being deported AND homeless. I spent the night at Keith and Chemda's house, sharing my deportation story on their show, then flew to Chicago. I spent the next two weeks, laying low at my sister's house. It was nice to be around family coming off such an epic failure. And Alice put me to work at her store. She needed the help, and it was nice to feel useful. :-(

December 17 - Austin, Texas - Ruta Maya
I mostly travel when I want to visit friends, and I have some great friends in Austin, Meg and Eric. They live way out in the woods outside of Austin, and they have huge studio space nearby. Meg is selling her drawings in galleries around the world, and Eric just invented a new drum called the Black Swan. My show in Austin was at a cool venue called the Ruta Maya. Great room, and I was lucky enough to open up for a S&M-theater-rock, Weimar-inspired 6-piece band called Mistress Stephanie & Her Melodic Cat along with ukulele-playing showstopper, Luna Tart. Luna's act reminded me of one of my favorites: Madeleine Kahn's character in Blazing Saddles.

Houston - Dec. 18 - Notsuoh, Dec. 23 - Super Happy Fun Land
Sometimes I get treated to performing in the most odd venues. Notsuoh is a little bar with a stage, owned and operated by Jim Pirtle, a painter and former performance artist. Notsuoh has a lot of history in downtown Houston. It was a shoe store (hence the thousands of shoe boxes stacked up in the joint), a dance club, a coffe shop, and now a crazy bar full of crazy, artsy people. Jim told me that he once performed a performance art piece where he ate a jar of mayonnaise on stage, vomited it up, and put a cherry on top with "Close to You" by the Carpenters playing in the background. Clearly a statement on consumerism and the undercurrent malaise in America. Or something. Sounded pretty horrible and amazing. I also met Kelly and Kara in Houston, and they are awesome. When I came back through Houston to play at Super Happy Fun Land, I was gonna just stay at a hotel. But Kara and Kelly offered to put me up at their house for the night. Was really awesome. They're good peeps, Kara's a graphic designer with her own company, and Kelly is a structural engineer for a ship manufacturing company. Shit like that makes me want to go back to Houston, just to hang with them again. At one point during the night, the burglar alarm malfunctioned and a blaring siren went off for about a half hour before they got it to stop. They apologized profusely, but it was kind of funny watching them run furiously up and down the four-story house trying to restore order. At Super Happy Fun Land, I met punk band, The Pelly Rogers. These teenagers had me sign a giant wooden penis and proceeded to play a set of aggressive punk anthems that shook my old bones to the core. Took me back to when I was just a little 20-something trolling punk shows in New York, running into Joan Jett who was trolling for young punk girls. Super Happy Fun Land is a crazy venue on the edge of industrial wasteland Houston. They were serving some sort of Hobo Stew that looked really delicious, garnished with Fritos. Yummo!

December 22 - New Orleans - Le Chat Noir
This might have been the best show I've ever had. Great audience, great venue, great MONEY!!! Le Chat Noir is a beautiful cabaret theater. I arrived in New Orleans on Saturday and Jessica Halem and Red, my hosts had a little football party. The Saints were playing, and were crushed, but that didn't stop us from heading out dancing after. Jessica and Red were going to host me at their house, but their next-door neighbors were out of town and needed someone to watch their cats. So I had a beautiful one-bedroom apartment to myself. Lucky. I went out every night in New Orleans and had an amazing time. The day before my show, I called Tulane University's radio station and ended up doing a live, in-studio performance on Miss Behavior's catch-all show. Le Chat Noir is an amazing place, home to a bunch of great shows. If you visit New Orleans, be sure to stop in for a show there. Jessica Halem is such a pleasure to know. Sometimes, the universe aligns itself just right and you end up making new friends that you're gonna know forever. In this case, Marga Gomez made the match. I'm so grateful to Marga but not just for this...

Altered grafitti

One of my favorite things in the whole wide world is when people have a conversation via graffiti. When I was 17 I remember reading the following interchange on a desk in the Notre Dame University library.

Person 1: "God is dead." —Nietzsche
Person 2: "Nietzsche is dead." —God

I thought that was the most hilarious thing I'd ever read at or on a library desk. A few years ago I saw where someone had written in a toilet, "Free Mumia" and someone else had modified it to read "Free Mumias to the first 100 customers!"

I just saw this photo of a piece of public art by British artist Banksy and it made me smile. Who doesn't want a complimentary wine of their choice? Such smart and funny political humor! Banksy does a lot of prints and paintings as well as public art, see below.

I'm featured on Gay.com today...

Scroll down. Below the shirtless people. There. The chubby guy with the ukulele. It reminds me of that old Electric Company song "One of these things is not like the other." It's the time I was on TV singing "Pig Fucker." Right underneath a clip from a gay vampire drama called "The Lair."

http://www.gay.com/

I guess it's probably just today I'll be featured on the home page. The permanent link is here:

http://www.gay.com/watch/388/Hot+Gay+Comics:+Ben+-+Clip+1

October Stuff

I'm excited for Match Game Live tomorrow. We've got Christian Finnegan, Chris March, Jessica Delfino, Becky Donohue, Robbyne Kaamil, and Eric Kirchberger on the panel. And I'm going to wear a leisure suit that I found at Goodwill in South Bend, Indiana, for $1.87. It's hunter green with white stitching, a real beaut. I wish I had white leather shoes and white leather cap. Maybe I'll find a white turtleneck somewhere today. I think Brandon and Jillian are joining the theme to do some sort of Mod Squad trio... we'll see. Meanwhile, I haven't written a single question for the show yet. Whoops. S'ok. I work best under pressure. It'll happen.

I was just on the Keith and the Girl show on Monday and you can listen to it here. We talked about the Balloon Boy a lot and I sang "Eating Love." They are super awesome. I fucked up and overbooked the Match Game show. They were really nice about it, and offered to bow out so that I wouldn't have conflict with the other comics. That's class, my friends.

Marga Gomez has been visiting New York and she's getting an award on Monday. I think it's some recognition of her being a cool Latina over a certain period of time. I will get to the bottom of it and find out exactly what the award is for. I'm very excited to fly out to San Francisco and play her big New Year's Eve show at the Victoria Theater. It's gonna rock.

I've finalized my plans to play in Austin, Houston, and New Orleans in late December so that's going to be awesome. Really great venues, especially "Le Chat Noir" in New Orleans.

Match Game Live is back!

TOMORROW! - SUNDAY, SEPT. 27 - Match Game Live is back! We've got some of New Yorks funniest writers, comedians, and improvisers, coming down to the Bowery Poetry Club. Plus there will be $2 PBRs to knock back. Come on down and match the stars!

Facebook Event Page - http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=139664334428

Match Game Live has had a refreshing summer break full of Quaaludes and disco music. All summer we remained perched precariously near the edge of a pool of our own vomit. And we are relieved to be going back to work for you, our lovely audience and contestants. Village Voice big shot Michael Musto returns to the fold along with Sara Benincasa, Jessica Delfino, and hilarious newcomers Joe Garden, John DeVore, and Claudia Cogan.

We ask contestants to match the panel by supplying the missing word from an innuendo-loaded sentence. Contestants will be selected from the audience to compete for fabulous prizes. Come play a game of wordplay and humor while laughing your blank off.

Your hilarious celebutard panelists for September:
Michael Musto (Village Voice)
Sara Benincasa (Sirius Radio, 236.com, MTV)
John Devore (Playboy.com, Cracked.com)
Claudia Cogan (HereTV, Logo, AfterEllen.com)
Joe Garden (The Onion, The New Vampire's Handbook)
Jessica Delfino (Good Morning America, Fox News)
hosted by Ben Lerman (Sirius Radio, HereTV)

GLOWING review! Four and a 1/2 stars from Fringe Guru

Reviewed by Craig Thomson

Ben Lerman, a New York-based musical comedian, tells an illuminating story. Invited by Cosmopolitan magazine to perform on their digital radio station, Lerman was also hit with a list of restrictions, because "they were familiar with my body of work." With no swearing or mocking of the magazine allowed, he turned to the pages of Cosmo for inspiration, and came up with a lovely number called 'Multiple Orgasm Pam'.

Lerman's body of work, you see, is filthy: hilariously filthy, raucously bawdy, and, er... funnily dirty. It's also most often based on his experiences as a young gay man in New York city. After 'Pam', he announces "that ends the straight sex portion of tonight's show", to the obvious discomfort of some of the young guys sitting by the stage. He does get smuttier and gayer, but he also gets funnier and funnier, and he takes the audience with him. It's a pleasing thought that, every night, the people crammed into the basement of Cafe Renroc take part in a singalong about oral sex.

With some furore recently around the proliferation of offensive comedy, it's important to note that this doesn't really fall into that category. Some people may, understandably, be a little uncomfortable with such frank discussion of sexual matters, but this isn't a show that sets out to offend - it's actually quite tender at points, and is, in a sense, good clean fun. Well, perhaps there's just a smattering of bondage, crystal meth and 'chubby chasers'.

You could also, charitably, assume that the Size Matters title is about the two ukuleles Lerman alternates between. Most often associated on these shores with George Fornby (although he, research shows, actually played a banjolele), Lerman makes excellent use of the "guitar's two-year old baby". Lerman is an extremely talented singer-songwriter, and while some of the numbers are pushing at an open door (I could tell where the American Idol-inspired 'There's an Idol in Me' was headed before the first twang on the uke), he still goes for it at full speed, with nary an anal sex metaphor left unturned.

I kinda feel this is the sort of show about which many people would say "well, it isn't for everyone." Well, dammit, I think this is for everyone - who doesn't want to see this kind of charming, amiable comedian close up? Who doesn't want to take advantage of the best of the Free Fringe? Who doesn't want to laugh along with the story of an internet romance with someone whose online name suggests an "unconventional" relationship with a pig? On the Free Fringe point, be prepared with a sizeable donation: this is better than a lot of stuff you would pay upfront for.

Now, can I get a cookie for not saying "His name is Ben Lerman and he plays the ukulele?" Go see the show, you'll understand.

Woah. Sold out?

Last night my show was so packed we had to turn people away. I felt bad for the people who came all the way out to Leith, off the beaten track, just to see my show, and then there wasn't room for them. But I felt good for me. It was really fun. If I had tickets for sale, woulda been a sell-out. :-)

Then after the show, I went to perform at a burlesque variety show. The show had been cancelled, but I'd been out all day unable to check email. I arrived with a couple of friends, and there was a small crowd of people who also had not been aware that the show was canceled. Tanya convinced me and the small crowd that I should put on a spontaneous show for them. It was a nice little spirit-of-the-Fringe moment, where a fun little show popped up where there wasn't supposed to be one. The audience was appreciative and generous, and we went out and immediately blew the wad that I made from that second show on sandwiches, cigarettes, and pints of Grolsch.

Four more shows to go. Doing a variety show in just a couple of hours at the City Cafe. Then Tanya is insisting that the two of us get haggis somewhere. I don't know about that. I'm adventurous, but I don't think I can put that in my mouth. At the same time, I'm thinking about opening a chain called Fag Haggis. Could be a real money maker.