Saturday, May 9, 2009

Ben's Secret Diary is moving here.


If you used to read my blog at, it's switching over to here. That seems foolish to tell you since you are here right now reading this. But then, how should I know where you are?

You might be on the other side of this series of tubes, chained to a radiator in a forgotton warehouse in eastern Europe, your last stop on the way to being sold into sex slavery. If that is the case, please bookmark this page, as you might want to return to it later, but then proceed to contacting the website of the FBI or Interpol or whatever authority is most suited to your needs. At some point you may want to reexamine your need for ukulele comedian blather over self-preservation. Maybe you're using my undeniably hilarious website as a coping mechanism for dealing with the hopeless predicament you're in. It can't be fun to be chained to an unworking radiator in a dilapidated warehouse, not knowing what new horror will come for you. And that is so powerful to me. To know that I have brought joy to one prisoner en route to sex slavery... It's like a dream come true. That's why I first picked up a ukulele.

I might have successfully incorporated this blogspot blog into the homepage of my iWeb fan site, by now, so maybe you are reading this at Or maybe you are reading this blog for the first time. In which case, none of this is of any consequence and has only succeeded in boring you to death. I'm sorry if you are dead. Otherwise, be well, and remember not to complain too much about the sex slavery or they will just kill you and get a new one.

All of my love to you always and forever,

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