Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Text messaging champ crowned, test not realistic

She's got thumbs of gold and nerves of steel. Kate Moore, 15, from Des Moines, Iowa, won $50K in a text messaging competition that tested agility, concentration, and speed. In other words, she was able to text the first stanza of "Zip-a-dee-doo-dah" while walking a treadmill with foam block obstacles thrown in her way.

I feel like the real challenge of text messaging could never be tested by a 15-year-old... at least, not legally. In my text messaging competition, contestants would be blindfolded and dropped at a bar they've never been to. They would be forced to do shots of tequila (or whiskey). Then someone would steal their wallet. Without knowing where they are, they'd have to find their way home gathering information only from text messages.

For the finals, the contestants would have to order illicit drugs via text message to be delivered to them without explicitly asking for the drugs. They would not be forced to do the drugs, however contestants would have to pay for them. The drugs will be confiscated by the competition committee, i.e. me, and they should be of good quality. Then, contestants would again be forced to do shots until they vomit. The first person to recover from vomiting and text me, "2 AM! Again. LOL! What are you doing? can I come over?" wins!

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